An MCP view of women !!!!!

........ And God then created Eve using Adam's rib........... The defining moment !

Women ........ Gods gift to 'man'kind........... whoever said that. I'm angry, ticked off and will list out a few corny sides to the so called fairer sex.

They'd be cranky and you can't ask them if its that time of the month yet. As a guy,you've got to plan each and every conversation well in advance, just so that you don't say something that might tick them off. You've gotta learn to go that extra mile in being a better human being, have feelings and all. You can't tell girls , that was so dumb, 'cos they'd bite off your head or something. They'd be thinking about a whole lotta things that can potentially depress them ,way ahead of time and end up depressing themselves at least twice a day ! They are born with 'interior decorator' like qualities 'cos they just cant seem to stop themselves from matching every damn color you'd ever imagine, from their nail polish color to say something like the socks inside them shoes which, by the way, can't be seen. Shopping ,trips to the mall are what they're built for, see them walking right in the middle of the road with their eyes, trained to be the most multitasking weapons of stealth - one eye will be relishing the " beautiful design " on a piece of cloth while the other one might be sending pulses to the brain as to how gorgeous those bags in the other shop are ! If another woman picks up something from the same counter, they'd have seen once and rejected, pat comes the comment " Bitch! Only checking out what I like ! " They'd call everything from polka dotted panties to a pup on the road that dreaded word - "cute", an irreplaceable word in their lexicon . They are the only ones in history to coin and get away with sentences that have repetitive stuff like, " Do you love him, love him ?" or for that matter, " I'm not his girlfriend, girlfriend ". God forbid if a guy would say stuff like that ! They'd always want a guy with an " amazing sense of humour ", damn, even if they would have never said anything funny ever in their life and bored the shit out of every one from adults to small kids, always !!!!

Done, I'm through. All frustration done, out on paper ! But are they so bad ????? I'm such a freakin' MCP !!!! No, no way , sorry I gotta look at the sunny side too. My attempt ..........

They come in all shapes and sizes, emotionally and physically. She'd be the mother who waits till you get back late in the night from work just to serve you dinner. She'd be the confidant, whom you'd want to share everything with; with your head in her lap. She'd be the old lady whose wrinkly hands show you how much she loves you when she runs her fingers through your hair. She'd be your break up buddy and tell you there's more where all those came from ! Hats off to their emotional strength , when men sit around all through life saying i wont cry, i wont show my pain, many women would have faced tons of situations before on the bus, on the train, at the workplace, to fight ,to survive and yet come back smiling the next day.They'd always be the best and chosen ones to give u suggestions on doing something in a better way, any day, anytime. No body else in the world make better companions to go shopping !

Women, what would we do without them ? Sort of reminds me of the song by U2 - ' Without or without you .' Love them or hate them, you can't do without them !

Well that's the good stuff......... Forgive me ladies................... Im gonna die single, I'm so sure after this write up !

Heartbreak !

For all you chokras and chokris still reeling from a heartbreak , i dedicate this to you ...........

My heart's hurting ,
Its pain it bleeds .
'Cos the more I think about it,
I know its only you I need.
An' if I dare to tell you,
I know where it'll lead.......
A paining heart, a broken dream.......

Remember the moments we shared,
All the times you cared.....
Where did i go wrong ?
Maybe I was just not so strong,
You and me could have weathered the storm,
That's what you made me think all along ,.......
You should have told me there and then,
that you'd never come back again, ..............But now,

My heart's hurting ,
Its pain it bleeds .
'Cos the more I think about it,
I know its only you I need.
An' if I dare to tell you,
I know where it'll lead.......
A paining heart, a broken dream.......


Sandcastles in the air were what came by,
Them dreams, the old hope in the sky,
They all crumbled and did die,
Woe is me , I promised to still stand by.
Confused,hurt is now what they call me by.............'cos,

My heart's hurting ,
Its pain it bleeds .
'Cos the more I think about it,
I know its only you I need.
An' if I dare to tell you,
I know where it'll lead.......
A paining heart, a broken dream.......

Car Wars !!!!

An eerie feeling fills the air. The morning fog , a blinder. Thousands of feet lined up on the concrete battlefield, firmly planted on the ground. This great place is hallowed with the sweat, blood and tears of champions - all adept at flexibility, tact and sacrifice . All fighting for the same cause, an empty seat to park our asses on . People taking positions - nobody, i mean nobody, gets through the human wall.

Shouts of confirmation run all round, " Pehla Dabba ! Arre, ' Niles Bhai ' , 'Cheerag' pehle pe hain, doosre pe Mehta uncle ko bolo ready rahe!" Suspicious looks all round , no line up changes now. Come what may, aapdo jagah to fix thai gayo ! Suddenly 20 heads turn at the same time. Hmm..... voluptuous woman walking towards us. Oops ! The only time our concentration slips. Shat ! Can't let it happen, again.

Suddenly, a cracked voice yells out in the background, sounds like a possessed zombie out to get someone, a warning call , almost straight out of 'the Unforgiven', " ra rar ra ra ra ra ", maybe to those who are about to lay down their lives to go to work to the other side of town. " Plaitform Nammbar chaar pe aane waali gaadi, Churchy-gate ke liye taize local hain....." Expect them to be scared, no way ! Instead wicked smiles show up on most faces all at once. They know that the time has come. Theres no looking back now !!

As the heavy, rumbling noises get closer , a scary feeling fills us all. Its the beast and its roaring to get to us, we can smell its breath .... Pushing, showing, elbowing each other and stamping each others' feet begins as people start adjusting their positions cos the beast is getting closer and closer for the final kill. Some people have hands on their faces, not theirs but somebody else's; they can't see but they know outta instinct where to strike, the battleground now bursting at its seams......

After a final screech, the moment has finally arrived. Each and every body makes an attempt, a bloody attempt to win . Bodies flying thick and fast all at once, like stones flying in a riot. Some landing on the dividing pole at the door, some at the sides and some fly straight through, right out onto the tracks on the other side of the compartment. The quick and the nimble get seated while the unlucky ones settle down in between the seats standing and ruing their luck. Thoughts like "Its going to be a 55 minute journey in the sweltering heat, damn i wish that I'd beat that oldie who manages to sit everyday'' doing the rounds in many heads. People frantically settling down, two heads between a dozen stinky, dark armpits, somebodies sweat on someone Else's face, bodies scattered around in weird positions , putting eminent body contortionists to shame. Ten minutes later and the train begins to move..... The dead silence now gives way to stock market reports, screaming women, and frustrated men talking about their and everybody else's wives. And then the inevitable, " Bhaisahab , Andheri ?"

Label me clean !

" Sikh driver sues Englishman over racist slur" , screamed the newspaper headline. "He called me a ' paki ', how dare he ?" said the harrowed, turbaned one.Well, be sure that the Englishman is cooling his heels in jail , convicted of the racism charge. The article took me back to a journey on my school bus where I encountered my first instance of racism. My friend asked me ," Why can't the Muslims go away ? We made and gave them their own country, no ? Why do they have to stay back and meddle in our affairs ?" Strange coming from someone in the sixth standard , dont you think ?

But, boy don't we stand up against injustice ! How hypocritical of the biggest set of racists on the face of the planet, us Indians. People are constantly labelled according to the colour of their skin, their religion, the state they come from and what not. A lady foreigner is deemed " fast " - they're every hot- blooded Indian males fantasy, so much for ' atithi devo bhava '. Young African professionals finding work in our country are jeered at with puffed up faces mouthing monkey chants and followed by the inevitable 'kaalu.' Anybody from the southern part of India is a ' Madrasi ', hell nobody cares about 4 different states being there ! Ask someone to name the states in the north - east of our country and they'd give you the "Oh , you mean the 'chinkis' ?" answer ; no wonder they feel so alienated from mainstream India. A Muslim is called a ' katli ' in the state of the 'ghaatis '. You have people who'd not let you buy a house in their ' housing society ' if you eat meat (the highest degree of crime , ever !!!!) or by the way mention that you are a follower of Islam , even in the so called 'most cosmopolitan of cities', Mumbai. Its really commendable that the same people fought to have the world's only 'vegetarian' Domino's pizza outlet in the world !!! Score !!!!!

' India shining , 21st century India' , who ever came up with these ? Our politicians are trying every trick in the book to divide us further. Pitting the ' amachi maati aamchi mansa' against the ' bhaiyyas ' or the blood lusting Hindu bigots against the Christians in several parts of India, comes naturally to them in their quest for votes and popularity. But we chose these nuts, so what do we do now ? Where are we headed ? What are we out to achieve ? Maybe its time we looked into the mirror and asked , " Racist who ? "

Will a change in laws help ? Will proactive policing make every Indian feel safe in his/her own motherland ? Questions we Indians have to ask ourselves and, fast. Its time that the policy makers realise that we're sitting on a ticking time bomb ready to erode centuries of India's peaceful past and grandeur.