The kid inside ........

"Saheb , paalish ? Karo naa, sahab. Ek dum chakachak karega." I was fidgeting with my phone, don't know what I was searching for in the god forsaken thing, but I was hooked to it. I didn't budge. A small, frail creature's hand reaches for my shirt, tugs at it. I get irritated. Look up with the most intimidating face I could ever produce, sort of like when you haven't answered an urgent nature's call for quite sometime, move my hand away hard and fast..He had to let go. And then suddenly the most innocent pair of twinkling eyes hit me, stun me and I can't continue. Hunger, poverty,misery, destitution, all of them right there in those black pearls. It was then that I realised what I had done. He stood there, standing with a bag in one hand and a wooden stand meant for shoes..Something came over me, a strong feeling, something weird that made me cry inside. With a choked voice, I managed a meagre, "Chottu, kuch khaya kya ? Bhoonk lagi hain ?" Surprised , he looked at me in disbelief, almost as if he had seen a ghost. I smirked,it was my turn now to return the favour. I put all that I had in my voice and went again ," Abe, khayega kya ?" He nodded in the affirmative, with tears and replied,"Pichle teen dino se bhoonka hoon. Woh daadhi wala mere saare paise le jaata hain aur bas ek pav khilata hain. Maarta bhi hain." Both of us walked down the street. I watched in silence as I stood looking at the small thing devour a vada pao with such gusto. "Aur?" Three down and a big smile, all for me..............

The kid got me to think, how many of such kids would be on the streets ? How many of them would be easy pickings for drug addicts, pimps and paedophiles ? All of them should have been in school, studying, fortifying their future, our country's future, but instead they are forced to beg,have sex, work at such tender ages, when they don't even know what is going on around them..........

Come to think of it, what an amazing time I had as a kid. Daddy I want "this" and daddy gets "this" for me. Momma ran behind me just to grapple me to the ground and force me to open my mouth so that she could feed me that one last morsel of rice. Granny's lap was my fantasy land stop, where I played with all my make believe friends and enemies - fairies, kings, queens and dragons, trolls. Yeah God met me there too........ But for them .......???? Simply nothing..... All of them just prey to the harshest side of reality that life is a bitch and a bad one at that.

Is this our dream for the future ? Is this what the "Sarva Shikshan Abhiyaan" aims at ?How many of these kids will be able to get a decent education, maybe learn to write their names for starters ? How many times will a pair of love bereft eyes stare at us before we understand what they go through ? How many kids can we keep feeding every time we encounter one of them?

My way out is, I CRY for them, Oh, yes I do...... My pa showed me the way.

The 'I's need eyes ...... !!!!!!!!

" Thank you so much, it was a pleasure interacting with you !" Meeting done. I leave the Times of India Building at CST. Normal .Walk with my friend up to the parking lot and talk about how fucked the day was. Jokes about women, children, bull shitty clients, my boss follow. I call up my friend who used to work at the same place I just visited, badmouth him. All normal. Take a cab ride up to Churchgate station, its close to 6:50 pm then. Read the indicators, being pushed and shuffled around, make my selection, board a train and head home. Everyday scene, fight for a seat, sit and go home, reach tired. Normal still. Then I switch on the TV, my hands turn cold, terrorists , people being held hostage, news reporters, cameramen, running behind whatever they can get , nobody knows whats going on, nobody knows what hit them. The funny part is , we still don't..............

Three days plus done, the terrorists now eat dust and lay dead. The commandos did a great job, everybody ecstatic..... Yippee !!!! But we are still misinformed , we're still sitting ducks and tomorrow if any other mother-fucking zealot thinks he can screw our much talked about "secular" fabric, the fact simply is , he can !!!!! Period. And then you, me and every educated , but still ignorant fool will still blame the politician we see on TV or know the name of.


Why ? Because we are a democracy, because everybody has rights, everybody has an opinion. Every orange clad, or green clad or whatever clad god-man can come up to a dais and spread hate. Whats more, people listen to them. Whats more, politicians allow them.Whats more, we begin to hate each other because of the food we eat, because of the dress we wear, cos of the language we speak, because of the freaking state we belong to. Then we have them smart, sophisticated MBA newsreaders on TV who call people from various walks of life for an opinion and don't let them say a thing, but have time for their, " But, but, buts, no, no, nos ........ and we're really out of time". They air commandos moving in to strategic positions to clear out areas in terrorist-hit locales, real time. The terrorists for god sakes had satellite phones, didn't these assholes ever realize that they might have the intelligence to switch on a TV and watch ? So much for a responsible media.The average middle class bugger wants to light a candle and show solidarity . Good, but the asshole sitting cozily in his 2 BHK flat won't vote , but will blame the politician for the roads, for the freaking corruption plaguing our system and still pay the policeman a 100 to let him go scot - free. We don't know what constituency we belong to, whose collar needs a grabbing if your " civic problems" aren't solved, but ask the average guy on the road, "Who is responsible ?"and pat comes the answer - "The politicians." Why, because "Civics" was worth bloody 20 marks out of a 100 mark paper, why should we have cared ? Well those gun wielding zombies gave us a reason and a bloody good reason at that. But that doesn't mean that the politicians were at no fault at all. No sir, no way. Even when the operations were still going on, shameless politicos reached before hand to abuse the government manning the crisis and to show the cameras that they were there at the right time, when it mattered - just like the terrorists did, to show us we're weak, we can't do anything but be beaten. Hell,they are so progressive in thought that even directors were given a place for their creative juices to flow - the disaster may provide them inspiration !!! Oh and not to mention some of them also thought and said - such small things always happen !!!!! Are YOU kidding me ? Are YOU mocking all those who lost their kids, moms, dads, aunties, uncles, brothers , sisters, those who cried blood ? Are you freaking kidding India ? 60 plus years of independence for this ?

I am also equally responsible,I am also a huge part of the problem, because I might write but when you have to clean a gutter , you have to go into it first and I won't get in.What I'll do is - talk about it and light candles. My job is to blame. My job is to be unconcerned. Its so easy to do anything in Mumbai , because even if my neighbor sits and devises things that can kill, hurt and finish humankind, I'd never know. I am so busy, so absorbed in the rat race to live that somewhere down the line I stopped being aware. I stopped realizing that sitting on problems don't make them go away to some magical land, but come back bigger, complex and stare me in the face so close, to a point where I can't do anything , but be hurt, raped,abused, and killed. I won't evolve. I won't budge. But the time has come now for the 'I's and the 'We's to open our eyes to the reality that stalks us, like a predator out to kill, to devour us, devour India and all that we fought to painstakingly build,admire and cherish ..............

Today I will make a promise though.......I swear to standby , be more aware, take part and protect whats mine, whats yours and every Indian's ...... A progressive, mature,strong, calm, peaceful and forgiving India ........My India, Our India . Pile them up, give me your hands, blood brothers and sisters !

An MCP view of women !!!!!

........ And God then created Eve using Adam's rib........... The defining moment !

Women ........ Gods gift to 'man'kind........... whoever said that. I'm angry, ticked off and will list out a few corny sides to the so called fairer sex.

They'd be cranky and you can't ask them if its that time of the month yet. As a guy,you've got to plan each and every conversation well in advance, just so that you don't say something that might tick them off. You've gotta learn to go that extra mile in being a better human being, have feelings and all. You can't tell girls , that was so dumb, 'cos they'd bite off your head or something. They'd be thinking about a whole lotta things that can potentially depress them ,way ahead of time and end up depressing themselves at least twice a day ! They are born with 'interior decorator' like qualities 'cos they just cant seem to stop themselves from matching every damn color you'd ever imagine, from their nail polish color to say something like the socks inside them shoes which, by the way, can't be seen. Shopping ,trips to the mall are what they're built for, see them walking right in the middle of the road with their eyes, trained to be the most multitasking weapons of stealth - one eye will be relishing the " beautiful design " on a piece of cloth while the other one might be sending pulses to the brain as to how gorgeous those bags in the other shop are ! If another woman picks up something from the same counter, they'd have seen once and rejected, pat comes the comment " Bitch! Only checking out what I like ! " They'd call everything from polka dotted panties to a pup on the road that dreaded word - "cute", an irreplaceable word in their lexicon . They are the only ones in history to coin and get away with sentences that have repetitive stuff like, " Do you love him, love him ?" or for that matter, " I'm not his girlfriend, girlfriend ". God forbid if a guy would say stuff like that ! They'd always want a guy with an " amazing sense of humour ", damn, even if they would have never said anything funny ever in their life and bored the shit out of every one from adults to small kids, always !!!!

Done, I'm through. All frustration done, out on paper ! But are they so bad ????? I'm such a freakin' MCP !!!! No, no way , sorry I gotta look at the sunny side too. My attempt ..........

They come in all shapes and sizes, emotionally and physically. She'd be the mother who waits till you get back late in the night from work just to serve you dinner. She'd be the confidant, whom you'd want to share everything with; with your head in her lap. She'd be the old lady whose wrinkly hands show you how much she loves you when she runs her fingers through your hair. She'd be your break up buddy and tell you there's more where all those came from ! Hats off to their emotional strength , when men sit around all through life saying i wont cry, i wont show my pain, many women would have faced tons of situations before on the bus, on the train, at the workplace, to fight ,to survive and yet come back smiling the next day.They'd always be the best and chosen ones to give u suggestions on doing something in a better way, any day, anytime. No body else in the world make better companions to go shopping !

Women, what would we do without them ? Sort of reminds me of the song by U2 - ' Without or without you .' Love them or hate them, you can't do without them !

Well that's the good stuff......... Forgive me ladies................... Im gonna die single, I'm so sure after this write up !

Heartbreak !

For all you chokras and chokris still reeling from a heartbreak , i dedicate this to you ...........

My heart's hurting ,
Its pain it bleeds .
'Cos the more I think about it,
I know its only you I need.
An' if I dare to tell you,
I know where it'll lead.......
A paining heart, a broken dream.......

Remember the moments we shared,
All the times you cared.....
Where did i go wrong ?
Maybe I was just not so strong,
You and me could have weathered the storm,
That's what you made me think all along ,.......
You should have told me there and then,
that you'd never come back again, ..............But now,

My heart's hurting ,
Its pain it bleeds .
'Cos the more I think about it,
I know its only you I need.
An' if I dare to tell you,
I know where it'll lead.......
A paining heart, a broken dream.......


Sandcastles in the air were what came by,
Them dreams, the old hope in the sky,
They all crumbled and did die,
Woe is me , I promised to still stand by.
Confused,hurt is now what they call me by.............'cos,

My heart's hurting ,
Its pain it bleeds .
'Cos the more I think about it,
I know its only you I need.
An' if I dare to tell you,
I know where it'll lead.......
A paining heart, a broken dream.......

Car Wars !!!!

An eerie feeling fills the air. The morning fog , a blinder. Thousands of feet lined up on the concrete battlefield, firmly planted on the ground. This great place is hallowed with the sweat, blood and tears of champions - all adept at flexibility, tact and sacrifice . All fighting for the same cause, an empty seat to park our asses on . People taking positions - nobody, i mean nobody, gets through the human wall.

Shouts of confirmation run all round, " Pehla Dabba ! Arre, ' Niles Bhai ' , 'Cheerag' pehle pe hain, doosre pe Mehta uncle ko bolo ready rahe!" Suspicious looks all round , no line up changes now. Come what may, aapdo jagah to fix thai gayo ! Suddenly 20 heads turn at the same time. Hmm..... voluptuous woman walking towards us. Oops ! The only time our concentration slips. Shat ! Can't let it happen, again.

Suddenly, a cracked voice yells out in the background, sounds like a possessed zombie out to get someone, a warning call , almost straight out of 'the Unforgiven', " ra rar ra ra ra ra ", maybe to those who are about to lay down their lives to go to work to the other side of town. " Plaitform Nammbar chaar pe aane waali gaadi, Churchy-gate ke liye taize local hain....." Expect them to be scared, no way ! Instead wicked smiles show up on most faces all at once. They know that the time has come. Theres no looking back now !!

As the heavy, rumbling noises get closer , a scary feeling fills us all. Its the beast and its roaring to get to us, we can smell its breath .... Pushing, showing, elbowing each other and stamping each others' feet begins as people start adjusting their positions cos the beast is getting closer and closer for the final kill. Some people have hands on their faces, not theirs but somebody else's; they can't see but they know outta instinct where to strike, the battleground now bursting at its seams......

After a final screech, the moment has finally arrived. Each and every body makes an attempt, a bloody attempt to win . Bodies flying thick and fast all at once, like stones flying in a riot. Some landing on the dividing pole at the door, some at the sides and some fly straight through, right out onto the tracks on the other side of the compartment. The quick and the nimble get seated while the unlucky ones settle down in between the seats standing and ruing their luck. Thoughts like "Its going to be a 55 minute journey in the sweltering heat, damn i wish that I'd beat that oldie who manages to sit everyday'' doing the rounds in many heads. People frantically settling down, two heads between a dozen stinky, dark armpits, somebodies sweat on someone Else's face, bodies scattered around in weird positions , putting eminent body contortionists to shame. Ten minutes later and the train begins to move..... The dead silence now gives way to stock market reports, screaming women, and frustrated men talking about their and everybody else's wives. And then the inevitable, " Bhaisahab , Andheri ?"

Label me clean !

" Sikh driver sues Englishman over racist slur" , screamed the newspaper headline. "He called me a ' paki ', how dare he ?" said the harrowed, turbaned one.Well, be sure that the Englishman is cooling his heels in jail , convicted of the racism charge. The article took me back to a journey on my school bus where I encountered my first instance of racism. My friend asked me ," Why can't the Muslims go away ? We made and gave them their own country, no ? Why do they have to stay back and meddle in our affairs ?" Strange coming from someone in the sixth standard , dont you think ?

But, boy don't we stand up against injustice ! How hypocritical of the biggest set of racists on the face of the planet, us Indians. People are constantly labelled according to the colour of their skin, their religion, the state they come from and what not. A lady foreigner is deemed " fast " - they're every hot- blooded Indian males fantasy, so much for ' atithi devo bhava '. Young African professionals finding work in our country are jeered at with puffed up faces mouthing monkey chants and followed by the inevitable 'kaalu.' Anybody from the southern part of India is a ' Madrasi ', hell nobody cares about 4 different states being there ! Ask someone to name the states in the north - east of our country and they'd give you the "Oh , you mean the 'chinkis' ?" answer ; no wonder they feel so alienated from mainstream India. A Muslim is called a ' katli ' in the state of the 'ghaatis '. You have people who'd not let you buy a house in their ' housing society ' if you eat meat (the highest degree of crime , ever !!!!) or by the way mention that you are a follower of Islam , even in the so called 'most cosmopolitan of cities', Mumbai. Its really commendable that the same people fought to have the world's only 'vegetarian' Domino's pizza outlet in the world !!! Score !!!!!

' India shining , 21st century India' , who ever came up with these ? Our politicians are trying every trick in the book to divide us further. Pitting the ' amachi maati aamchi mansa' against the ' bhaiyyas ' or the blood lusting Hindu bigots against the Christians in several parts of India, comes naturally to them in their quest for votes and popularity. But we chose these nuts, so what do we do now ? Where are we headed ? What are we out to achieve ? Maybe its time we looked into the mirror and asked , " Racist who ? "

Will a change in laws help ? Will proactive policing make every Indian feel safe in his/her own motherland ? Questions we Indians have to ask ourselves and, fast. Its time that the policy makers realise that we're sitting on a ticking time bomb ready to erode centuries of India's peaceful past and grandeur.

Transition

"Watch out, you'll fall, beta ! Be careful ........ " The li'l kid comes running back, his mother's caring arms holding him, warding off all evil. Life was just so easy back then. "Teacher , teacher he's beating (to!!!!) me", saved your ass from the school bully.Getting dressed was mom's job and an open, asking palm brought in your daily dose of chocolates. You are the king/queen of the house, 'cos dad's shoulders were the throne we sat on and our folks wouldn't sleep till you let them or rather go to sleep yourself ! State board schools rarely tested our intelligence. Boy, what a walk in the park, huh ?

Why did we ever have to grow up ? Why can't the time when my tiny fingers were curled around my father's index finger, with him guiding my way, stay forever ? Stupid questions you might say. But hey , tell me one person who grew up and loved staying that way huh ? Me for one , I hate it.

The grass is always greener on the other side - couldnt wait to grow up when we were small and now crib over why we grew up in the first place. Is keeping the child in you alive the only way out of not missing out on life ??????

P.S : Please dont grill me , its my first attempt at writing !!!!!!!!